We could tell driving jokes...... As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from an occasional social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for an evening with friends and had a couple of cocktails and some rather nice red wine. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before. I took a cab home. Sure enough, I passed a police road block, but since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise as I have never driven a cab before. I am not sure where I got it or what to do with it now that it's in my garage.
My Girlfriend is cheating on me.... For a while i suspected my girlfriend was not beeing too faithfull in our relationship. The usual signs: phone calls from people whome hang up right away, she suddenly went out with her 'girlfriends' allot, and when i asked whome those friends where i got awnsers like 'you dont know them, people from work' Anyways, i decided to wait for her to arive back in the taxi but she allways came walking up the driveway and i allways heard a car pull off. Like she stepped out of the car arround the corner. why? was there no taxi? One time i took her cellphone to check the time and she went mental and she said i should never touch her cellphone again and why was i checking up on her? I never spoke to her about it, maybe i didn't want to know the truth. Untill last night, when she went out again with 'friends' and i decided to wait for her. I was going to hide behind my car so that i could see the whole street and was able to see if there was indeed a taxi or perhaps -as i suspected- a different car. Sitting so close next to it i noticed some rust stains started to develop on my car. I think i need to remove those stains before they get any bigger. I looked up the color code for my car and bought one of those repair kits at halfords. It seems to me i would need to scrub the stains down and then put some kind of protection layer on it to make sure it wont start to rust again. and then use the repair kit. Is that correct? Does anyone know where i can buy that? the two (young) guys at Halfords had no clue whatsoever.
As Homer Simpson says "Man, I'm too drunk to drive. Wait a minute, I'm drunk, I shouldn't listen to myself, let's drive"
He`s really worried that his GF is cheating on him... really worried... so worried he`s out spying on her... Until he notices the rust stains on his car... which then become far more important. So important he forgets he even has a GF...
Ok lol. I'm not even going to go into my theories on stains and two guys doing his girlfriend, etc. lol
not a car joke but......but they drove to the eatery Three married men are at a restaurant discussing their wives. One of them excuses himself to use the men's room. The remaining two were talking about how they think their wives are cheating on them. The first one says he thinks his wife is sleeping with a plumber. His friend asks why he thinks that? He explains when he came home the other day he noticed a pipe wrench under the bed and he does not own a pipe wrench. Wow! his friend says and proceeds to tell his story. He thinks his wife is seeing an electrician because he found a pair of wire cutters under his bed and he does own any wire cutters. By then the third guy comes back and hearing his friends story pipes in and say's, " Boy, that's messed up and then proceeds to say he knows his wife is sleeping with a horse. OMG his friends proclaim. A HORSE? Why do you think that? He tells how he came home the other day and found a jockey under his bed. Badda Bing
What kind of exam? Let's make a deal. I'll burn down your school if you burn my university with all the evidence inside.
Don't even remind me of exams, I try to hide from them by visiting forums, checking emails every 20 minutes and generally procrastinating, but they always find me
I got the university degree in Physiotherapy in Italy(Rome) and now I have to make the qualification exam to become a licensed physiotherapist here in Israel! It's a very tough exam!