Being ignored in the Forum

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by redapg, Apr 29, 2021.

  1. redapg

    redapg Registered

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    Hello to all.
    I have to complain a little bit, but with a serious Intention. ;)
    Maybe it's a kind of nowadays normal Behaviour, but i don't like it.
    More and more often, i ask myself, if it worth it, to offer Help here in the Forum at all.
    Maybe it only happens to me, but i get ignored very often when i do it.
    If it is something personal, i at least would expect a Reply like "Sorry man, but i don't want your Help" or something like that.
    Or if the Problem is solved already, something like "Thanks for the Offer, but the Problem is solved".
    But to ignore someone who offers to help, is no good Behaviour and makes at least me, being less motivated more and more, to offer my Help.

    Chris
     
  2. philrob

    philrob Registered

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    Chris,
    i think it is a general behavior in society, very few people acknowledge help and assistance, it seems that to thank somebody for doing something you cannot, Is seen as a weakness of some sort.
    Last year i stopped to help a guy push his car to the side of the road, he was blocking a huge line of traffic, i then got his car going for
    him, he jumped in to rev it up a bit? then blasted off, without a word.
    So i dont think its personal as your site and offers of help are very well respected.
    I have been releasing tracks and fixes since GP3 days and am used to not a word of thanks, i do it for me anyway.
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2021
  3. redapg

    redapg Registered

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    Yes Phil (or Rob or philrob? :)), it is my Hobby too and i like to try to fix Problems, because that is the best Way to learn how the Things work and not only in Video Games.
    I do it since more than 15 Years with rFactor now and it indeed is a Fact, that the general Behaviour of People did change since then.

    I only can say that i don't like to being ignored. :)
     
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  4. philrob

    philrob Registered

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    Just Phil will do
     
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  5. redapg

    redapg Registered

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    OK :)
     
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  6. Lazza

    Lazza Registered

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    @redapg This happens everywhere - forums, discord, roads, supermarkets, you name it. But I find there are more courteous people than otherwise, so just focus on that and ignore the others - if they can't even take the time to say thanks, why waste any time thinking about it?
     
  7. redapg

    redapg Registered

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    Because that is the Way i am. :)
    I always hope, that when you show the People that they Behave "wrong", that they think about it and change their Behaviour.
    It's called being optimistic, i guess. :D
     
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  8. Corti

    Corti Registered

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    As Lazza says, every gratitude far exceeds people who did not learn to thank in his life. All the information you provide and the help you offer is exploited by many even in anonymity.
    It also happens to me, I often start answering consultations where I think I can help ... Later I eliminate the comment because I do not want to get to debate my answer since it's just a personal point of view and .... A "so what I would do "(even if it is not the best method).
     
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  9. lagg

    lagg Registered

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    Sometimes i've the same sensation.
    I ussualy try to help and suddenly i realize that in some posts nobody has answer or clicked on "Like".
    Then i stop helping some days, but in a week i continue helping again.
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2021
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  10. mantasisg

    mantasisg Registered

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    I increasingly felt like that since 2018 or so, ever since I started building slight bits of understanding in various aspects. I feel like the more I can put in, the less is needed, accepted, agreed and so on. I used to think that it is because I am nobody comparing to members of community who has much better name than me, has much more and better help to offer. But perhaps it is not the case, or not all of it.

    If I have ever lacked appreciation or misjudged value of help I got. And I have got plenty of great help from many rf2 community members. If I did, then I am sorry. I'd like to remember, and still say - thank you.

    Also I'd include all discussions in which I was incorrect, and never came back to say it, but thats like 50x more rare than to people to say thanks anyway lol
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2021
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  11. Nieubermesch

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    Just passing to say you are appreciated and loved :D:D:D

    Just kidding, I understand you.
     
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  12. Comante

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    I think it's a matter of perspective: when some people ask for help or suggestion on the forum, they don't see your effort as "help" but simply that you did your duty to serve them. In this circumstance, they owe you nothing, you are just a google bot that answered their questions.
    If you like to be helpful, you have to do it , what come back in answer is not part of the equation, otherwise you should say: "I like to be thanked for my help", but this is different than :" I like to help people".
    :D
    To each is own, at then end of the day the only thing that matter is that you feel good about what you did (or didn't).
     
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  13. redapg

    redapg Registered

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    Maybe I should have been more specific. :)

    First and foremost, I meant the People who ask for Help directly in the Forum.
    And there, it often happens, that someone writes an Answer, but never gets any Reaction.

    That an Answer gets ignored by mistake, can happen easily in Threads, where a lot of different People try to help and one Post gets written after another, quickly behind of each other.
    But if there is only the opening Post and one or two Answers, there is only a low Probability that this is the Case.

    And it also don't happens only with People that opened that one Thread only and were never seen again then. ;)

    And if you, with "in anonymity" mean the People that use Things like my Online Tools for Example, i can only say, that for me, seeing that they get used, is an appreciated Feedback for me. :)

    With this Thread, i just wanted to make some People thinking about ignorant Behaviour.
     
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  14. redapg

    redapg Registered

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    If i would try to help only to get a "Thank you" from someone, i would not do it at all.
    You can call me old fashioned, but if i ask for something and get an Answer, i at least give an Answer too. ;)
     
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  15. Comante

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    This is what I call "lead by example": Medieval kings rode in battle, and people followed them for this.
    If you are kind to other, there is a chances that others will follow your example.
     
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  16. Rui Santos

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    People are stupid nowadays... and due to social media, society, bad parents and "influencers", kids (who populate a lot video softwares forums) have no education or manners at all. They simply don't know basic things like "Thank you", "Please", "Good morning", etçª. They were "educated" in a way of "i want, i get, i dictate the rules" so it's no surprise that educated people get a bit mad nowadays with this lack of humanity and manners...
     
  17. Filip

    Filip Registered

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  18. PatientRF2fan

    PatientRF2fan Registered

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    As a new modder I have to say how much I have appreciated the very few who have properly answered my many questions on the forum.
    I have experienced so many ups and downs plus many times wanting to walk away. I don't give up easy. I totally understand how no one wants to write out step by step each time someone asks a question. Especially when they wont read, watch and experiment themselves first.

    I cant believe that I am in 3ds max completely controlling my own racing experience. Along with creating my own AI this is just awesome.

    Your responses are very much appreciated by the many people who view the forums to learn. The replies are great but the views have big value.
     
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  19. maximus1971

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    .of everything there were idiots yesterday, today and tomorrow, so let's stay gentlemanly and share the best of ourselves. ;) a33f3ac9aae0c52a1aa6e93282051f90.jpg
     
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  20. Lazza

    Lazza Registered

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    Remember that someone's first post here asking for help might be at the end of 3 days asking and searching elsewhere, so their patience could be wearing thin and they might get the answer in multiple places too (and not respond in all of them). Or they could be rude and ungrateful. No harm :p

    I'd rather get the occasional heartfelt thanks than a barrage of obligatory likes or short "thanks" posts done for the sake of convention.
     
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